In Steven's writing class, I found Identity.

"Best" Kindergarten, as the top bilingual kindergarten in Zhengzhou, Henan, teaches English terribly. As a former student, I can accurately say that English taught at this kindergarten simply does not work in western countries. I immigrated to Canada in 2015 to study. However, my English only started to improve at the end of 2018. That's 3 whole years of darkness. It all starts with a simple, practical course full of hands-on activities. Steven's reading Wednesday and writing.

Best Kindergarten, supposedly a top-tier bilingual kindergarten in Zhengzhou, Henan, teaches English terribly. As a former Best student, I can say with certainty that Best-style English is completely ineffective abroad. I immigrated to Vancouver, Canada in 2015, but my English only started improving at the end of 2018; before that, I endured three dark years. All this change began with a simple, practical lesson full of hands-on opportunities: Steven's Wednesday reading and writing class.

When I first landed in Vancouver, I quickly realized that I was behind on the very first day of school. Locked in a cage, isolated from the free world where else seemed to be. Yes, including the other immigrants. Everyone's English just seemed so perfect, their mouths were filled with perfect sentence structure, extensive vocabulary and expressions. and unsafe each time I tried to communicate with my teachers or peers. I just sat quietly, clueless.

The moment I landed in Vancouver, I quickly realized how far behind I was at school. I felt like I was locked in a cage, isolated from the free world outside, including other immigrants. Everyone's English seemed so fluent and perfect. They could spout complex sentence structures, rich vocabulary, and idioms effortlessly. And me? My broken Filipino English made me feel completely out of place whenever I communicated with teachers or classmates. My English was taught by a Filipino teacher, who himself couldn't even explain it clearly. Over time, the initial insecurity caused by the language barrier slowly evolved into low self-esteem, making me afraid to communicate easily with others. As a result, my school life became lonely, and I could only sit blankly every day.

Funny to say, I was actually quite skeptical and nervous when I first joined the “Wednesday class.” It was taught by Steven. Having never heard of this person before, I joined the zoom meeting with 7 other people. I didn't expect anything special, I figured that this was just any other english class, reading, discussions, boring. But after Steven said the very first sentence, I quickly realized that this class was something else. he really enjoys teaching this class.

It's a long story. When I first joined the "Wednesday Class," I didn't have high expectations for the course. I'd never even heard of the teacher before. With a nonchalant attitude, I entered the classroom. Besides me, there were seven other students, all with different backgrounds and experiences, but almost everyone's eyes revealed a mixture of anticipation and helplessness. Before class, I naively thought it would just be another ordinary English class—some reading, discussions, and various mundane topics. But just from the teacher's opening sentence, I immediately realized this class was anything but simple. Steven's words were full of confidence and joy, which set him apart. At the same time, Steven possessed something other English teachers lacked: a love for English and a heart that always put the students first.

This 2 hour class consists of two sections. For the first hour, creative writing. Everyone is given the same prompt and has 5-10 minutes to execute their writing. To my surprise, these prompts were very personal. I could see just how easily these prompts could make one feel vulnerable. But for the first time, I felt that someone actually cares about my feelings other than my family and wants to know more about me. Having never even thought about these questions myself, it was extremely difficult for me to get the pen moving, let alone sharing it to the rest of the class. I sat quietly staring at the ceiling. 1 minute, 2 minute, 5 minutes. Time's up. My page was still bare and free of ink. As the others started sharing their writing, I started to really reflect on myself, what is it that I actually need? What is stopping me from obtaining this “thing”? I hope to find out soon.

The class lasted two hours, with the first hour dedicated to creative writing. The teacher gave everyone the same topic and allowed us 5-10 minutes to complete it. To my surprise, the topics were incredibly personal, easily drawing us down and touching our hearts with warmth. This was the first time a stranger had shown me such concern, and the feeling was indescribable. I had never even considered these questions before; the pen in my hand felt incredibly heavy, making it impossible to write, let alone share with the rest of the class. I sat there blankly, staring at the ceiling, the ticking of the clock on the wall echoing incessantly. Finally, time was up, but my paper remained blank. Only when others began sharing their experiences did I snap out of my reverie and start reflecting: What did I truly need? What was preventing me from obtaining this "thing"? How could I find the answer quickly?

Time went on, the prompts started to get deeper, from something like “describe a most memorable moment.” To “describe a time that you rejected something/someone that you instantly regretted afterwards.” Discussions were longer, and people started to be happier. Sometimes, the prompts really drive you to fish those feelings out from deep inside the body.

As time went on, Steven's questions became increasingly challenging, starting with asking us to describe our most unforgettable moment and progressing to a moment we regretted. These deeper questions and the need for multi-dimensional thinking helped me gain a deeper understanding of myself. I discovered that these questions truly prompted me to uncover "secrets" I wouldn't normally share with others. The more classes I took, the more I realized I wasn't just snorkeling on the surface, but exploring the depths of the ocean. Each week, Steven led us deeper and deeper into the sea, until we reached the bottom.

The bottom is where all my answers lie, and we have reached it. What do I need? Me. What's stopping me from getting what I need? Myself. After years and years of not being able to communicate with others fluently, I have slowly refrained myself from expressing my feelings as a whole. Having to complete these diving trips with Steven, I have finally come to realize what I'm made of. I'm not that kid anymore who lives in isolation each day just because his English is shit, And I certainly am not doing this for my teachers and peers so they can know me better. I'm doing this so I can finally reintroduce myself. Although this class has guided me to find my identity and true self, it is so much more than that. For instance, it provided me with a way to connect with others while gaining a whole new perspective of myself. After being enrolled in this class for a solid 5 years. I could confidently say that this class is the reason why I fell in love with writing.

After ten years, the answer has finally surfaced. It turns out I don't actually need emotional value, gifts, or the understanding of others; what I need most is myself. After years of confusion, I finally see myself clearly. I'm no longer the child who isolated myself from the world because of my poor English, nor did I learn English to make my teachers and classmates understand me better. I did it so that I could ultimately become stronger, to integrate into my own world. I suddenly realized I'm no longer a lone wolf in the wilderness. For me, this course guided me to find my identity and my true self, but its significance goes far beyond that. For example, it provided me with a way to connect with others, while simultaneously giving me a completely new perspective on myself. After attending this course for five years, I can confidently say that this course is why I fell in love with writing. As for reading? I'm still working on it.